Busy Nothings

It’s necessary that I comment on the whole Ahmadinejad thing, not because it matters, but because it’s taking place at my lovely Alma Mater, the Acrapolis.

Why, I’ve been wondering, does anyone care?  What are they so afraid that he’ll say?  Because if you listened to the 60 Minutes interview with Ahmadinejad (I’m starting to learn how to spell his name!) that aired yesterday, you know that this guy rocks at the intricate art of answer-evasion.  Ask him any question, any question at all, and he will invariably respond with – nothing.

“It is an established fact now that Iranian bombs and Iranian know-how are killing Americans in Iraq. You have American blood on your hands. Why?” Pelley asked.

“Well, this is what the American officials are saying. Again, American officials wherever around the world that they encounter a problem which they fail to resolve, instead of accepting that, they prefer to accuse others,” the president replied. “I’m very sorry that because of the wrong decisions taken by American officials, Iraqi people are being killed and also American soldiers. It’s very regrettable.”

…

“I asked President Bush what he would say to you if he were sitting in this chair. And he told me-quote-speaking to you, that you’ve made terrible choices for your people. You’ve isolated your nation you’ve taken a nation of proud and honorable people and made your country the pariah of the world. These are President Bush’s words to you,” Pelley said. “What’s your reply?”

“Well, President Bush is free to think as the pleases and to say what he pleases,” Ahmadinejad said. “I don’t think that President Bush has said these things. Rather I prefer to think that this is your impression of what the president said.”

This is, of course, the art that makes good Middle Eastern leaders – the ability to turn water into wine and loss into victory with a few meaningless words.  But thousands of people are up in arms just because Ahmadinejad is going to say them in New York.  So what if that meshuggener’s said some nasty things about Israel and the Holocaust.  So did Mel Gibson’s dad, but no one’s run him out of town!

What’s truly sickening is the way Fox News is hanging around the Columbia campus like hornets on a plate of pickle juice.   It’s like the Minutemen protest all over again: “Look at the liberal campus!  Bad liberal campus, bad!” The story is just about all they’re reporting at the moment, and somehow you get the impression that they don’t really give a shit about what he stands for or whether he’s building a nuclear bomb.  He’s coming to Columbia!  He’s coming in the dark of night!  We’re coming for you, liberal America!

So, in short, Ahmadinejad is coming, and the wrong people care.  And if you’re still feeling strange, or just need a bit of comfort food, go talk to Dilbert.